Disclaimer: This post is more like a diary. There are no deeper points, nor any learnings. These are just some thoughts I have at the moment.

Right now, I’m in a tough period of my life. Not in a bad way – on the contrary. I’m working on the most interesting company I ever had, and we’re doing insanely well (more reflections here). However, while having such a crazy project, so many other things in life can suffer.

An example of this is that during the last ~6 months, I’ve:

  • Kept gaining kilos, so I’m now around ~88kg. This is roughly 10kg more than it should be
  • I sleep an average of 6-6.5 hours per night (measured on my Oura ring). Should be at least 7-7.5 hours of actual sleep
  • I do not meditate
  • I’ve seen relatively few friends

The list goes on.

It’s not that I’ve not had fun. I definitely have:
I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve met many new people, I’ve dated and I’ve had lots of fun. The challenge is that I’ve let my good habits slip. First I let one slip, and then another… And suddenly, 6 months later, I’ve realized a lot of habits have slipped.

Habits compound

What I’ve found for myself, is that good habits give birth to more good habits. The opposite is also true: bad habits give birth to more bad habits.

The bad habits, for me, tend to come in periods when I’m working a lot. This is not an excuse; merely an observation.

Here are the list of habits I’ve managed to accumulate over the last 6 months:

  • I wake up at 8:30 am and have less than 30 min to wake up and meet at work. This means my mornings are stressed, I do not always get breakfast and I don’t get to do morning exercise (…meaning many days I won’t exercise, as my evenings are typically very busy and packed)
  • I drink 3-4 soda cans per day (… obviously stupid as fuck)
  • I started eating both bread, carbs, and cakes instead of limiting it to one day per week (…my default behavior)
  • I started saying yes to a glass or two of wine on some weekdays (…fucks up my sleep)
  • I listen to podcasts instead of audiobooks (… typically more swallow content than real books)
  • I go to bed late and don’t read before sleeping OR just check social media (… lost opportunity to get smarter)

Now, some would see this list and say “live a little!”. However, I’m extremely ambitious for myself in terms of both work/health/relationships/knowledge/state of mind. These habits are indeed very, very damaging and are in the end causing results I cannot accept.

What is really surprising to me, however, is how habits spread. One habit broken? It eats the next one. And then the next one.

Breaking the wheel

If I now started on some chapter about “5 Steps of break the wheel” – I’d lie. I’m at the time of writing caught in the wheel.

However, I’m pissed at myself for being in the wheel and I can feel the fire inside me to break out of the wheel. I know I’m standing at the edge of what I accept them myself. I will break it.

When I check back in a week on my blog, I want to say: yes, the habits have started to turn around. Luckily, it all starts with just one habit. Then the rest follows.